Sunday, March 13, 2011

Off-the-couch potato chip eatin' lazy ass

I had a good chuckle at that tongue-in-cheek comment made by the master of funnies, and my friendly rival, mr craik prior to Dirty Duo race day. It's about time he started some smack talk since I'm usually throwing it around to amuse myself and get people riled up. :p

Found this picture of me that seems to fit the title too!

Dirty Duo is probably one of the hardest 25k runs in the area and it's early season and usually not so nice weather. Just once i'd like to race this thing in the sun!! You know ... spring .. in Vancouver! C'mon!

Anyway... i rolled my fat lazy chip eating ass to the start line for 11 and waddled off at the sound of the gun ...or was that someone popping the cap off a tube of Pringles... mmmm!

What is it with these races? You look at the registered list and not too many names and then race day you find yourself in a pack of greyhounds careening across the fields! Where the hell did you people come from?! I hate having to work for a good placing! C'mon!!

About 8 of us went up lynn canyon at a dumbass pace. Mr unpronounceable, no vowels in my name, 1:13ish half marathoner from victoria, took off never to be seen again and killed the course in 2:03 ... course record i think. 2nd place dude was 2:12 but i never saw him after lower section of lynn canyon. That left about 5 of us idiots burning our legs up to the gazebo in 28 minutes. Heading down twin bridges i was already wondering if i'd blown it and gone out way too fast ... wasn't sure i could sustain it as i tried to catch Ross i-sprint-downhills Greenwood. Jesus! Is this guy related to Ellie Greenwood?!

Anyway ... i yodelled back and forth between 4th and 5th spot all the way across bridle path with another guy ...Simon I think, as we tried to chase down Ross the rolling stone. No moss on this guy! In some ways the bikes that were also on bridle path helped because if i passed some on a little uphill section i knew they would be bearing down on my chip eating ass on the other side of the hill so i sprinted those parts. Needless to say, i chewed up bridle path nicely, dropping Simon and spat myself out onto old buck... right on top of Ross who took off when he saw me. He was a slippery son of a kipper but i saw him start to walk every minute or so. Aha! Gotcha! Slowly reeled the oily weasel in and caught him at BP and passed him but the sucker stayed right on my heels like a ....well, like a sucker... and then passed me just before mushroom.

But he stopped at the aid station for some fish food and i took off down neds. He came after me and wasn't far behind, but i managed to hold him off to twin bridges. As we started up Fisherman's trail that good fer nuthin Pete Watson shouts out to Ross ..."Go get him! That guy's almost 50!" I laughed at first thinking he was talkin to both of us about maybe 2nd place dude.... but then i was like ...."wait a minute... was he talkin about me?!" Anyway... i think it spurred the young Ross to action because he took off again! I caught him half way up Homestead and passed him and held him off to the Suspension Bridge but then he passed me and it stayed that way til the end ... by about 25 seconds! Doh!

I got 4th ... but i'm ok with it. This off-the-couch potato chip eatin pushin 50 lazy ass ran 2:16:27 .... 3.5 minutes faster than my best time 4 years ago I think it was. I might start selling my training system ... remember... I called it the Spike Training System way back when I first started this blog! :p

[Nah ...wouldn't be right... I've been off the couch quite a bit and even ...shock! ...yes... the gym!! Thanks to Mr Ivanic and his own training advice ..I seem to be a little leaner... but I still eat chips and frequent the couch! ; )


wiglebot said...

That is cool if you start the core strength program and drop the "Spike Training System." But please don't change your blog. It is one of the only places that pushes the psychological fringes of satirical running gossip.

Oh yea, very nice time: 2:16 -- Age does not matter. I am 41 and was on the couch with a major illness from 34-40. I get faster by the day.

Tom Craik said...

Great time, Coo. Don't count me out yet though. I'm still young - oh yeah, age doesn't matter.

mrC said...

There's no counting out going on here creakster. Loved the line from your blog and wove it into my post for a laugh.

Mr Wiggly.. thank you for the compliment! As good as any is the come back that folks like you make from sickness/injury. My hat is off. Keep it up!

Oh there will be no dropping of the spike system... it's too good.. it may just amalgamate parts of other systems so that there are spike training weeks and then muli-spike weeks etc.. ;)